Greetings, alien from Saturn! You have stepped in the online abode of kangweisiong , which houses his mindless musings and lovely rantings.
You're obviously permitted to have a look around, but of course, itchy fingers aren't entertained - so don't take what's not yours. ;)
Sunday, June 29, 2008 @ 8:13 AM

Just back from tennis session with my friend at upper timah road, and feeling quite low and tired. I admit I have negative thoughts and feelings in my mindset. I admit I am emoing now, thinking what the fcuk I am doing all along.

The tennis session was quite fun and I end up losing the match again and again. It just did not play as good as it , feel like throwing my tennis racket and smash it. I feel like giving up on tennis which is the sport I love till now. Why can't I go my very best and give my best shot?

Why can't all of my friends understand WHAT I AM FEELING NOW? I feeling very upset over my biggest weakness of my life, mumbling to people, speaking to people without confident! Stupid weisiong, go to hell with it, all u friends are leaving u one by one...soon u will be left over...and become a loner and disappear from the earth...u good friends or other friend don even bother to listen to u problem...no one caring what u problem..they will say to hell with it...

I have a probia that I will become dumb slowly...really scare I guess.

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Saturday, June 28, 2008 @ 8:10 PM

Is friendship really so fragile and weak at all times? Just because of one WILSON US OPEN tennis ball and want to quarrel with me? Come one la, friendship is worth more than just that stuff. Friends should not argue cause of small matter, they should cherish it and treasure it.

Fine with or without friends, I still can survive myself. I live alone, breathe alone, die alone, and sleep alone. Even thought I have quite a fine amount of friends, but no all of them really like to interact with me. I am after all left with a few friends only. Sound pathetic to you all right? But is nothing my the truth. I guess some of you all don't understand my feelings right now.

I realise I have a big weakness since the day I born out, I lack self confidence in talking to people. My collegues nishi told me that I should be more sociable to people and talk more with them. I know I always mumble a lot and people don't catch what i say, but I tired my best.
I simple want to give up and don't talk to any more people, as well become dumb better. At least I don't need to be scare of them laughing at me.It hurts my heart I guess, I want to cry but no tears run down. Haha..

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Wednesday, June 25, 2008 @ 7:54 AM

I just finish my dinner and taken my shower.Today I work from 8.30AM ot 9.00PM, total of 11 hours. In the end I still did not finish my work, ther are more to go. I guess tomrrow I still have finish all the work. Nishi told me this period should not be the busiest period but I guess ir bring forward early.

I can feel the pressure is coming in and work is like never ending. I cannot see a ending and when there are no goals for me. I bet all my classmates didn't work till as late as me. But I guess I learn more than all of them and handle more matters.

I am damm tired and shag for today, feel like taking leave and sleep. I want to sleep forever and never wake up. Today work was still damm stress, customer advice keep on faxing in. Stuffing of containers, delivery or self collection. Incoming and outcoming of cargo almost all I handle.

The more I do my work, the more I become numb and meaningless toward all. I feel very very dizzy and not feeling well. I might take MC or leave to recover from my work sickness.

I realise I am a really kind-hearted and easily being use by people. People see me as one who can borrow money easily and allways ask for money from me. Haix..I wish to change for a better person.

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Saturday, June 21, 2008 @ 9:14 PM

Being MIA for like one week , cause I don't feel like updating my blog. I realise I become more and more rebel toward my parents. Haix~ I don't wish to treat them like this way but I want to to respect them like I always do. I sure some of us are like me , all of us will reach the age of rebellious. I tend not to let my parents ask too much questions as I get so irrirated easily by them. I don't know why but is just like that, maybe I am growing up and have my own mind and thinking.

This 1 week I been going through a lot of self thinking.I realise I become to immune to a lot of things whether is talking to people or playing games. I ask myself why people want to do this stuff or what. One kind of situation is when I am really immune to acrade games. I see people get addictied to these games and ask myself why are they like that? To me these games are just nothing and no life to me.

I realise I have no life in my life instead, everything seem so meaningless to me. My feeling become numb and immune to everything. Why?? Why?? XDD....

Recently I have go to a salon and done a haircut as my hair has grow too long. These few days I been working till very late and get tired easily. Time flew so fast and now is the four month of my IAP. I wish to extend my attachment till my school reopen so that I can earn extra cash for myself.

Yesterday I went to my tennis bbq with all my friends. We all have fun and enjoy ourselves. I really glad to see them again as some of them just went into the army.XDD I am really happy that tennis bring all of us together and know all of you all. Fate I guess that brought everyone together. Another event is that I saw puppie julia while going to meet my friends at queensways. XDDD . ...She look so tan maybe cause just back from obs camp.

I decide to change my song to " stop and stare " to reflect what my mindset and thoughts for now.


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Wednesday, June 11, 2008 @ 6:42 AM

Today I was released from work at 8pm that the latest that I ever release. In the end the whole commerical department staff has left expect my colleagues and me. She ask me to stay behind till 8 pm then she can take taxi to go home. I did not finish my work as there was tons of assignment for me.

I just reach home and have eaten my dinner and blogging now.I decide to change my song to more cheerful and happy. I read one of the mail send by my classmate harry about life. It really touch my heart and soul and I realise I am the stupidest among all the human being.

Enjoy every moment that we have as life is so short like never short.I wish all my friends be happy and cheerful no matter whether u hate or like me or not. All of you should enjoy every moment, who knows what will happen in the future?I will tell myself to be happy and cheerful every single moment regardless whether is sad, angry or any kind of situation.


"Happiness is a voyage, not a destination, live every moment to the fullest".I came across a poster about how to realise that u are so lucky and fortnuate in this world. It was about a man who going to commit sucide from 10 floor, he regret in the end but was too late. As that man jump down,he see diff people ,diff side of their story.

Each floor lives different human being and they all see him. Some of them was quarrel, killing each other while some was robbing people house. As these floor of people see that man jump down and commit sucide, they regret their action and cherish their life. As for the sucide man, he beginning to regret and want to turn back in time. But it was all too late, therefore I want all my loved family and friends to cherish their live!!(:

I will change my mindset and overcome all obstacles that are ahead of me. I feel like crying as I am emotionaly unstable when I see so life-touching story and phrase. I see a ray of hope and sunshine in my soul. No matter how much my friends hurt me before or in the past, I will forgive their acts and cherish them even more. Even those friends dislike my character or even make my day unhappy, I still loved u guys.(:

I loved all my beloved family and friends!! Life is like a journey where we need support among the way. Although I still upset and sad but I will change for the better whether is for me , friends or family. YEA!!XDDDD

Changed my song from sad to fast and happy song!! Hope u guys enjoy this song!4 minutes!!Imagine if you are left with 4 minuties, what will you do??
Once u guys noe the answer!
Mind tagging me and share with me (:

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Tuesday, June 10, 2008 @ 7:17 AM

Today was a really bad day and worse day of my attachment. I make mistakes in my work and get scolding from my manager. I feel so gulity as it was my mistake for making that mistake. I make two major mistake which will affect my performance. I feel like crying and went to toliet to reflect myself. I think I am too tired from yesterday night as I sleep at 1 plus!! Today I was release from work 6 15 and I was half dead and shag.

First major mistake that I make was my interim report,I did not make observe the rules. I am so dumb that put the company confidential information into my report. I like a adult just fresh out of the school and expose to working society life. In the end, I get scolding again from him. I feel so low and upset about it. People can change their facial expression in term of situation. People might be smiling at you at all times, but when get to work, their face changes. From smile to bad,from happy mood to sad mood.

People say I am a not a nice person to get along. I realise the two thing people don't like me. First talking to people about topic at wrong timing, and getting people frustrated by my action.
Secondly, my dumbness and stupindiness that make scare all my friends away!!
I hate myself! Arrgh..


am so tired of showing my concern to my friends when you all take thing for grated. Suddenly I reflect during my secondary time , something flash back to my mind. In Npcc I was train as a NCO(Non-commissioned officer) to train my junior. My Sir used to tell me " Don take thing for grated, Don 't let people climb over u head".

This phrase serve in my mind and heart as for now. My brain is kind of headache and cannot think really well. I wish all my friends will be listening to my problem not ignoring me.
Recently I been picking up the habit of reading books, it useful for my knowledge. I also regularly read magnizes to improve myself.

Today piggy sms puppie julia but she never reply la!!=X MIA from piggy for so long, as well avoid piggy and don't talk to him lor..=X Piggy just wish to know whether puppie feeling better or not. (:

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Monday, June 9, 2008 @ 8:14 AM

This is might be the longest and sadest blog that I ever post. I don't know what to say cause I kind of get sick of repeating myself. These few days I been reflecting myself on my character, what I have change. During my secondary school, I been only focus on getting well on my studies and myself. I regard only myself and ignore all my friends.

While I was chatting with jia wei on msn yesterday, he told me I become more sociable with friends!! I was like oh....izzit change so much sia? Well I did become more senstivitve to friends matter and be more careful to you all. I cherish friendship more than ever before and at the same time I lose something. I lose the ability to focus on the thing that I want in my life.

My studies grade drop and didn't even get better, and not even one gpa get 3.5. I going siao and crazy already and soon. Anyone can help me with my illness. I cannot get over my mindset of going to depression over. I may be appear friendly and smiling at you all at all times but my
heart kind of feel empty and sad. I am indeed EMO now and no mood to say anything. Cause no one in this damm world really care about me. All of you will just smiling and didn't listen to my problems.Even when I got any problems or I going to die or what, who the fcuk listen and care for me?I admit that I have super low esteem and left me alone if you get irrirated by me.

Because when I am your close friends beside you, patiently and listening to your problems. No matter what kind of problems, I will try to listen and solve the problem. But when I have problems that time, all of you just do avoid me or do other stuff. I want you all to pay and seek my attention from me. If you want to peoeple to respect you, then u going to respect people.

Today I just went to see kung fu panda, kind of funny and worth to watch. You guys should go ahead and watch. It suitable for old, young and adult people. Today is Sidney brithday, I wish him all the best for his NS days. Happy brithday to Sidney!!=DDD

Julia
Puppie Julia must recover soon and cheer up as soon as possible!! =DD Piggy will wait for puppie mood to come back and chat with her again!! (:

Jia wei
Thanks for being my buddy all the while and listen to my problems. Mind telling me your blog
link??XDD I want to link and see you blog!!This sunday go out window shopping!!Yea!!=DDD

Dolly
Thank for being my loyal reader of my blog, kind of happy to know you!! I will tag you on u blog everytime u updated u blog!! Cheer!! Have fun for u camp!!

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Wednesday, June 4, 2008 @ 5:47 AM

Here a bit updated of what I have done for these pass few day. I am not in really FCUKING good mood as I must rush for my interim report. Plus I don't get to release work from 5.30pm but instead 6 15 or 7 00 pm..=.= My report I only have done 1/4 only and I have not even finish man. I don't feel like doing this report but my manager and teacher rushing me!!

Why cannot you understanding I am also under pressure. During my work I have to see my collegues face, manager face and warehousing personnel. I have to get scolding from each of them till they are happy. Keep on naging and naging at me when I am tototally exhausted. I HAVE ENOUGH OF THIS! ENOUGH!Spare me from this ok!!

For this stupid bloody report, I going to miss watching the newspaper everyday. Usually everyday after work, I will go to bkp plaza and watch newspaper before going home. I feel like sleep like a sleeping prince and not wake up forever.

I feel like sleeping forever and never wake up. I feel like sleeping forever so that I won't see people cry or anger. I feel like sleeping forever so that I don't need those friends.

This is my fourth month of attachment but my workload can be compare to those full-time. Workload keep on increasing and increasing like nobody business. I am now dealing with inbound and outbound of documents, and never ending one.XDD

Well, I have tagged people for survery well I do see good and bad result from the survery. But some of my friends seems don consider my feelings when saying about me. I admit I have super low-esteem and I really have ok??This sentence was repeat twice again and hurt me twice again. I regard you as one of my friends who understand me but don't need to be so straight forward to tell other people. I am hurt by your that sentence ok, spare me this feelings. Maybe last time I don't mind people say about me, but the now me is have change.

I am more senstive to friends sentence and get hurt all of you!People changes so fast like nobody business, but something are still the same. I do changes a bit, just that nonone really understand me. I wish to share with my friends about my problems but not adding oil to the fire. This is making the situtaion more worst.

Last of all I am hurt ok by you, out of all my friends!!Why you!! Why you!!

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Monday, June 2, 2008 @ 5:14 AM

A) People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs & replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

B) Tag 8 people to do this quiz & those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by & cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by. Continue this game by sending it to other people.

1.if your lover betrayed you, what would your reaction be?
I would wish to know the reasons and still love her no matter what. (:

2.if you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
I would want to be freelancer photographer and write!! =D

3.are you satisfied with the way your life is right now?
Nope, I not happy cause I am ugly and poor.. =(

4.are you confused of what lies ahead of you?
Yea..cause for me I still don't know what path to choose =X

5.what's your ideal lover like?
Mmm..beautiful and yet normal girl, caring and thoughtful.
=)

6.which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
Being loved by someone is better than loving someone when she don't
even feel u feelings.

7.how long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
As long there a ray of hope, I will wait for her...

8.if the person you secretly liked is already attached, what would you do?
I will giver her and her bf their full blessing, as long she happy. (:

9.is there anything that makes you unhappy these days?
Work, report, stress, friendship, money and looking for love XDD

10.is being tagged fun?
Well, this is my first time being tagged, quite fun!!
11.how do you see yourself in ten years time?

12.who are currently most important people to you?
My family,my buddies and my close friends =)

13.what kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
She kind of nice and easy to communicate with ..=DD

14.which one would you choose-marriage or career?
Without any of it, life would be like incomplete...=D

15.what's the first thing you do every morning?
Yawn?? Not enough sleep sia!!

16.if you fall in love with two person simultaneously, who would you pick?
I would love the girl that love me back .=)

17.what type of friends do you like?
Friendly, easy going , easy to communicate, not back-stabbers

18.if given the chance to turn back time, will you?
Yes!! I will chase the girl that I once like!! Understanding more
things in a mature way!!

19.Will you marry a person of your parents choice?
Nope?? Unless is there are feeling bewteen both partners!!

8 person to tagged
Julia
Jia hui
Jia wei
Dolly
Vanessa
Zhi wei
Dai en
Vanessa

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Promise
Sunday, June 1, 2008 @ 8:24 AM

My adapter wire was spoil and I was damm piss off with it. Hell with it man last week my hard disk crash and now my adapter spoilt.This months so unlucky for me, I wish to luck will be coming for me. Yesterday I went to tiong bah ru plaza to meet adrian to get the adapter. Thanks adrain for the adapter!! Today I went to play tennis with kenchi and ray and practice on my strokes. I realise I have changes for my game play during the match. I guess only ray and me know bewteen ourseleves. =)

We play for around 4 hours plus till both of us physically shag and exhausted. Right now my leg is damm feeble and weak. I wish to have as many as true friends for my life.
I feel so insulated when people not listening to you problems and keep on laughing and doing their stuff. Don't they realise how I feel to be insulted by all of you. I want friend that who will be listening to my problems not paying attenetion to other people. This is called " Respect" Haix..I guess true friends are diffcult to find.

Promise this word is izzit really exist or just a word in dicto? Human being always like to make empty promise one. Never make promise with me unless you sure u can fulfill them. If not I will be very angry and upset with you!! =DDD

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